Today someone totally surprising told me that they read my blog…
Her comments made me reassess my blogging blues. She actually made me well up. I never fully appreciate the reach of my words. I’ve said before that I blog for me and of late, I’ve been waylaid by life, by bigger issues than us, issues that have left me feeling sort of fruitless, extra to the major things of life…and a tad despondent about the difference that my little blog makes.
A very wise man (Hi P as I know you’ll be reading as you always do 😃) once told me that I needed to blog for me…forget about reach…and be myself. I haven’t exactly lost sight of that…but I have lost sight of the importance of this gorgeous little blog to me. When I started it was cathartic. I had so much to say, so many thoughts unsaid. I always thought that if I made a difference to one person, one family then my job was done.
What I have forgotten is that this is me. This blog is me. This is for me and for us as a family and as such regardless of whether any other human ever reads it or not, it makes a difference to the most important people in my life. If I can vent, then I am happy. If I am happy then it makes it happier at home for everyone.
So thank you to that lovely lady, you will never know how much your kind words have helped me to see clearly again.
And so where are we?
Evie has had such a growth spurt lately both physically and developmentally. It’s been a joy to see…
We’ve been away for a few days. Go our favourite haunt at Center Parcs. We’ve swam, slid, played…eaten, hunted for treasure and dug in the sand. All in all one fabulous time.
We’ve played lots, trampolining, running and Eve has also taken part in her first after school club…”the Olympics”. She’s done so well despite being so tired. A huge thanks to her awesome 1:1 who helped her through it. I saw all the children sitting neatly in line waiting for their turn in the hurdles. Where was Evie? Haha…she was also sitting in line only on her 1:1’s feet. Literally sitting on her feet…the grass is damp don’t you know?! 😂🙈
But then as soon as we take a few steps forward, we take a couple back. I think it’s her thyroid. She’s tired, lethargic, grizzly, tearful and at times anxious. So this week I’ll arrange a blood test, I’ll chase consultants and specialists…and prepare her for it. Each time we go for her blood test it’s harder. She understands more so tries to avoid it more, she fights it, fights me and is afraid. I smile, I chatter inanely…I will distract…bribe…and she will be brave and it will be done…somehow. Evie will declare that “I’m brave Mummy”. And how can I disagree? At her age I don’t think that I’d ever had a blood test. This little one seems to turning into a pin cushion of late. And no doubt it will be her thyroid…this myriad of current issues.
Her falling asleep in the swimming pool…it’s just not her. Her looking so tired and drawn…not my Eves.
It’s hard to see when your little one isn’t right. It’s hard to know that you’re going to be the one pushing for blood tests that she hates. But I know it’ll be worth it. I know that is needed and I know that I’m not alone in doing this, countless other parents have the same odious tasks. It could be much, much worse I know that too. It’s only her thyroid. I just wish it didn’t affect her personality and energy as much.
So onwards and upwards. We shall treat these symptoms and help her to be the very best that she can be. My Evie, my heart ❤️.