These two girls adore each other. They also fight like cat and dog.
H happily irritates Evie on purpose and is thoroughly accomplishing her “annoying little sister” role.
Evie likewise plays up to this role, allowing herself to be wound up to the nth degree by H.
They flit from absolute adoration and being in fits of giggles to squabbling so much, that I swear they’re trying to get me to buy shares in Rescue Remedy. (It’s good stuff by the way try it 😆)
Evie adds an extra dimension to H’s life. She does give her extra responsibility. She cares for her beyond what the role of a little sister is. When Evie is upset she runs for her sensory chew…she coaxes her to carry on walking, and recently in our amazing first trip to the Playbarn H coaxed her inside with me and reassured her until Evie was calm. Not your average role of a 3 year old.
I read a beautiful article last night where a mum was worrying about her children missing out on events because of their disabled sibling. Now it’s true to say that H will have a different life and that we have been restricted in the things that we do. Slowly we are able to do more and more average family things as Evie becomes more comfortable with them. That said we do have to give great consideration to where we go as we want to ensure that Evie is safe. Her utter lack of danger awareness means that we are on extra alert all of the time.
When I was younger I spent a great deal of time around hospitals and doctors due to my older brother having medical issues. For a lot of time I did feel left out when I was cared for by extended family, because rightly my parents had to prioritise his needs. His health had to come first. No question. As a child it isn’t that easy to understand that and resentment did occur. Not of him or our lovely parents but jealousy of wanting to be with them…wanting to be just like anyone else. And I’m certain that he would much rather have been in my situation than his.
I gained so much by the situation. Much more than I lost. Our family bond was tighter and stronger. The example our parents set was second to none. We always came first. So much so that when my brother and I were asked what our Mum was best at shortly after she passed, our answer was simple…she was best at being our Mum.
Through our parents I had a total lack of fear of doctors which has helped me when challenging doctors and other professionals. I saw the important role that parents really play. That they lead not only by example but that they are their child’s best advocate and they know their child better than any professional ever will.
You see whilst siblings of children with additional needs of any type may lose out in some ways, they gain much more than can ever be quantified. I’ve said before that siblings don’t count chromosomes and they don’t. What’s a chromosome between sisters?