Mama Bear

My blog posts seem to be taking a dig at professionals lately. This was never my intention. However when life gives you lemons, you write recipes for lemonade.

I’ll try and make this my last professional bashing post for a while. I wanted to try to explain how it feels when you have an unpleasant encounter with a professional.

We’ve had a few occasions now where we’ve had the need to consider whether we make complaints about a professional’s conduct or behaviour. It’s hard. There are so many things to consider…

I don’t want to be that mother.

Do we really want to irritate yet another professional group, when we still need their help?

Will they give us a worse service because we’ve complained?

Will we get reputations for being difficult? Even when all we are doing is fighting for quality and fairness.

Will we get a decent outcome?

Will it make a difference?

Is it worth it?

Will it improve the service for children in the future and stop others having this battle?

Can we do it?

Are we right?

Is it us that’s the problem?

Do we have the energy for this battle?

Should we let it slide?

How do we complain?

To whom do we complain?

Taking the time to research and reading masses of literature and policies.

The toll that all of this takes is huge. For me when one of these events occur, it’s as though my brain shuts down. I can’t think clearly. I get physical pressure in my head. I can’t sleep. It takes over my thoughts, our lives. I cry…a lot. I worry. I hate not being in control.

I find this so frustrating. In my work, I could deal with most things thrown at me, calmly and well researched. I was always proud of the letters and documents I drafted. When it comes to issues about Evie, this is so much harder to do. Emotions get in the way, and I think this is another area that most professionals fail to appreciate.

When we decide to not pursue issues, it takes courage and bravery…just as much as when we choose to pursue a complaint.

You let our children down, you bring out our mama bears. These mama bears get mad, find it hard to say what’s inside, they cry, they shout…and they are so hurt by professionals’ failures.

Tread carefully people, do your jobs; it would save a lot pain.


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