The ‘R’ Word

Ok – I said that I was starting gently……well here’s my second post…

I’m getting this out of the way early on. I didn’t realise when Evie was born, how I would find certain words offensive. This isn’t easy to post but here goes….


And any other such vile words
(Excuse me whilst I vomit 😷 – anyone have a bucket?)

I’ve seen and heard them used by so many people on social media and in life. And no joke, seeing and hearing them makes my blood run cold. I feel physically sick. I get a rush of blood in my ears. I have actually cried when I have seen and heard people say these words. I’ve also gotten into arguments on social media because of them (I know it’s a shock, I argue!). And will no doubt continue to do so. Why do I feel like that? Well it’s like this….

Do you know if you say any of those words to derogate someone then you are taking the p*ss out of Evie and people like her?

By saying someone is a ‘bit special’ then that means that you are saying that they go to special school or have special needs – like Evie. That’s bad then is it – to go to special school? Evie is funny to laugh at, is she? She’s worth less than you? (tiger mum on the prowl)

I could give you whole history behind the use of the words. The thing is I don’t need to. We ALL know that these words are wrong. You see swearing doesn’t hurt anyone, you may not like the words ‘fuck’, ‘twat’ or ‘cunt’ (my personal pet hate) but they don’t hurt individuals. The difference is that these words hurt, mock and belittle people with disabilities.

Do me a favour – think about it. I’m not being “over sensitive“. People say that to assuage their own guilt, to excuse their use of derogatory words. It really isn’t acceptable. How would you like it if this was your daughter? If you see it or hear it, have a word. if you use it, please don’t. If we don’t stand together, it’ll never change. We don’t sexually or racially discriminate so why should disability discrimination be any different?


6 thoughts on “The ‘R’ Word

  1. I completely agree and I am so pleased you are putting this all down in words! Evie is beautiful and you my friend are a true inspiration. I cannot wait to read more xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Not sure I wholeheartedly agree with this one Kirsty. Deep breath, runs for cover!!!

    When people laugh at themselves and say they are’ a bit spesh’ today or ‘what a retard/tard’ they are not referring to anyone to whom these labels were originally applied. In the good old days maybe, but as a society we have moved on and most people, yes I did say most as there will always be the ‘uneducated’ few who drag everyone else down, would not dream of referring to our children and people like them as retarded. Therefore ‘retard’ in its simplest form yes, does imply a lack of intelligent thought at the time of the incident on the part of the culprit, but no, does not belittle a person who years ago would have been described as a retard and thrown into an asylum. Similar to, in fact, the way that gay, once taken to mean happy or bright is now used almost exclusively to mean homosexual, whether that is a derogatory comment or mere statement of fact.

    And on another note, if you asked someone who called someone else a ‘mong’ for instance what it actually meant, could they actually answer you? Or has is like most of the other words you listed just become an accepted part of slang to say you did something stupid. People are laughing at each other not at those lest fortunate than themselves; usually to alleviate an awkward moment when they themselves realise they did something stupid: the laugh, comment, move on, forget strategy, as opposed to an awkward silence when both parties realise one of them did something stupid but no-one wants to/feels able to say anything to make it pass.
    Yes there are always a few who will belittle those less fortunate than themselves, but they will be the same ‘morons’ (can I use that one?) that belittle and discriminate others on grounds of race, religion orientation etc.

    Deep breath. Sorry x


    1. Right on my PC so can now answer! 🙂 Firstly don’t say sorry. You’re entitled to your opinion.

      Secondly I firmly believe in education. If we don’t stand up and say that these words are wrong then they’ll never not be used. I have seen and heard these used so flippantly. These words are outdated and people need to learn. The more of us that stand up and say actually it isn’t ok, then the less likely it is that these words will be used.

      People may not be directing them at Evie – but you shouldn’t use words that you don’t know the meaning of. A bit spesh is so flippant and society needs to stop of think. Not meaning to hurt anyone doesn’t stop it from hurting.

      These words are derogatory and they are historically aimed at people with disabilities. End of 🙂


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